Dream Job

It's official. After seven years at Lakewood Public Library, I've put in my resignation. It'll be hard to leave all of the amazing co-workers and friends I've made in that time, but I'm moving on to what I can only describe as my dream job. The Morgan's current Program Manager has accepted another position and I am happy to report that I will be officially joining the Morgan team as her replacement. I've got big shoes to fill, for sure, but I feel up to the challenge. To be able to work for an organization that you love and feel passionate about is something that a lot of people never get to do and I feel so fortunate and excited to be given the opportunity. I start the new job later this month and I'm sure my arrival there will feel a lot like coming home.

Rust, Bleach, Burn, and Stain

 Over Labor Day weekend I took my last Morgan workshop of the season. It was a two day class taught by artist Clare Murray Adams, who instructed the class on using rusting, bleaching, burning, and staining as a means to mark-making. The nice thing about the workshop was how accessible and common all of the materials we used were, and how easily the techniques Clare taught us were applied. I madly experimented during the two days the workshop took place, and went home with a ton of samples and so many new ideas.

This was actually the perfect workshop to take right now because I just started a surface design class this semester with Rebecca Cross. We're mainly learning fabric dyeing techniques, but the things I learned in Clare's workshop can be applied to the work I'm doing in school, and I look forward to exploring the similarities and differences between paper and fabric as I further explore surface design.

Epic Road Trip

I've been attempting to write this post for an entire month now, but I keep getting distracted. Things are crazy again, schedule-wise, with classes in full-swing and I just got a part-time job to supplement my other part-time job, so it's now or never as far as filling you in on my past few weeks. Here goes...

The husband and I took a much-needed vacation. I had just a couple of weeks between my Morgan apprenticeship and the Fall semester, so we set out on a glorious, nine day road trip to Colorado and back. Although it was tempting to share pictures and blog about all the great things I was seeing, doing, and eating, I decided before leaving on this trip to take a complete social media break. And I used a real camera to take pictures instead of just my phone.  I think it's so important to get away for a while, take a break from reality and stress. Technology can be a big part of that stress and, more than anything, causes you to be distracted from what's real and important. Vacations just force you to simplify, rely only on the contents of your suitcase. Be in the moment. Live. 

Brian and I love to travel and it's our goal to hit all 50 states by the time we turn 50, so this was a great opportunity to knock a bunch of states off our list. We headed from Cleveland through Indianapolis and then on to St. Louis for the night. There we visited The Arch and went up to the top in these tiny, egg-like elevators. In the morning we went to the City Museum, which is the most fun and inspiring museum I have ever been to. It's like a giant fun house, with slides and caves, and there's even a giant ferris wheel on the roof. . When we left St. Louis we headed through Arkansas on our way to Tulsa to visit family and spend the night before making the long drive through Kansas to Denver. 

We had four amazing days in Colorado and we got to stay with my sister in law, who took us on the hike of our lives. We managed a nine mile trek up through the mountains in the Rocky Mountain National Park. The goal was Sky Pond, a small body of water located at 10,900 ft elevation. The hike was rough for me. I'm not in the best shape of my life and the elevation didn't make it any easier. It was hot out, probably close to 90 degrees in the sun and I'd worn long pants because it had snowed the day before when we visited a higher peak. I was sweating and cranky and was having a hard time keeping up with everyone. But the further we got on the path, the higher we climbed, the more determined I became. And the natural beauty of the landscape began to spur me on. As we meandered on the winding path, a stream would appear alongside us, its gentle trickle a wonderful soundtrack to our hike. Here and there the scent of pine would penetrate the senses, enlivening our spirits, a sort of aromatherapy for the wilderness. 

When we got several hundred yards within Sky Pond, our path was blocked by a family of wild elk. We couldn't make it all the way to Sky Pond because the elk weren't moving and we didn't want to disturb them, but it didn't matter to me. The feat of getting to the top of that mountain and seeing those beautiful animals in their natural habitat was enough. I was completely in awe. We were so close to them that I could actually hear the female elk crunching on grass. I had fought my way up that mountain, huffing and puffing. I had faced my fear of heights to scale a small waterfall on the edge of a cliff, and I tested my physical ability. I felt accomplished and exhilarated and awed. To look out into that much vast space you have no choice but to feel gratitude for being able to experience so much natural beauty and wonder and be a part of it all.

We left Denver and headed through Nebraska on our way to Iowa City, where we had the pleasure of spending the night at Julie and Mike's place. Julie was kind enough to take us on a tour of the Iowa Center for the Book, the library's conservation lab, and introduce us to Tim Barrett, papermaker extraordinaire, who was so kind and told me I could contact him any time if I had any questions. Truly, it was a papermaking nerd dream come true for me.

After a nice dinner, Brian and I set out on the last leg of our journey, making it home around 4:30am. We had a great trip, but it's always nice to come home again.

Revive and Renew

Friday night the Morgan had an opening for Revive and Renew, their show featuring thirteen contemporary artists working with Eastern papers. I helped Mason hang some of the pieces on Thursday, but seeing everything in the daylight, not quite finished, is very different than coming in on opening night, with all the gallery lights on, everyone full of wine and good cheer. It's like magic. There are so many wonderful and talented artists represented in the show. If you're in the Cleveland area, it's definitely worth seeing. The exhibit runs until September 20th, so make sure to get in and check it out. 

The show was a sort of grande finale to the Eastern Paper Apprenticeship that has been my life for the last half year. It's officially over for Ivey and I, although we've both agreed to stay on into this week, just to wrap things up. It's hard to believe that six months have passed already since I first began scraping kozo and beating fiber by hand in the bitter February cold. I've been in denial about its conclusion as it approached over the past few weeks. Lately, I've been asked a lot about how I feel about the apprenticeship being over, and to be honest, I feel a little heartbroken. I've come to feel like the Morgan is my home, where I belong, and I care about the work I do there. To say it's hard to walk away from it is a vast understatement. I've had so many positive experiences during my time there. Not only did I learn to be a proficient Eastern Papermaker and have the opportunity to immerse myself in a wide variety of workshops taught by some of the best artists working in the field, but I got to meet and work with so many amazing, kind people, too many to list here.

I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to take part in this truly gratifying, inspiring, and once in a lifetime experience. I am incredibly lucky to have learned from and worked side by side with Aimee Lee and Tom Balbo at the Morgan, one of the best places in Cleveland. My gratitude knows no bounds. I'm not good at saying goodbye, Morgan, so instead, I'll see you later. 

Ecoprinting

A rainy Sunday evening is the perfect backdrop for reflection. I just spent another wonderful weekend workshopping at the Morgan. This time around I took Ecoprinting with Velma Bolyard. I didn't really know what to expect going into it, but I am astounded by all of the things I was able to create in just two days, and I wasn't even the most prolific artist in the group.

The process itself is easy, loose, and instantly satisfyingly. We began by roaming the alley behind the Morgan, clipping bits of bushes and flowers, picking up any random piece of metal that might be lying on the ground. We then folded these bits of leaves and petals, found objects and ephemera into bundles of paper. We secured the packages with bits of string and wire, metal clips and scraps of fabric. The bundles were then covered with water and cooked in a large metal pot. A lliquor of botanical juices was produced for the bundles to marinate in and the smell enveloped us as we worked, earthy and aromatic.

The prints that resulted are both gritty and breathtakingly beautiful. I think what's so magical about the process is that it's more than the sum of its parts. You combine these simple, organic materials and wind up with something that is malleable, growing, alive. I thought my ecoprints were impressive when I first undid the ties of my freshly cooked bundles, but just a few short hours later, when I unpacked the weekend's stash of prints at home, I was amazed by how much they had changed. The printed shapes were more defined and the colors had continued to develop, like a photograph. I'm sure they will only get better with time. 

Naginata Beater

Last week, the Morgan got a much anticipated addition the beater room: the naginata beater, custom built for the Morgan's Eastern Paper Studio by David Reina in Brooklyn. It's only the second beater of its kind in the United States and the only one made of stainless steel. the other naginata beater lives at the University of Iowa's Center for the Book.

Beaters of this design are used in both Japan and Korea, and they are ideal for use with Eastern fibers because, rather than cut the fibers, the curved blades tease them apart, leaving the fibers as long as possible, which makes for stronger paper.  The impressive stainless blades on our machine were cut with a water jet and it can beat up to five pounds at a time. As far as beaters go, this thing is sexy. Although Aimee got to test the machine out a couple of weeks ago in David's studio, the rest of us were dying with anticipation of its arrival.

The naginata came in a huge, wooden crate, lowered in the alley off the back of a truck. The crate was held together with about a million screws and the only way to get the beater out of the box was to unscrew all of them. Kirsten and I were so excited to get the thing out of there that we both took to the power drills with enthusiasm.

After all the build up, I couldn't miss our naginata's maiden voyage at the Morgan. I don't normally go to the Morgan on Fridays but this was one event not to miss, so I came in just to see her off.

I'vey and I drained the gampi we cooked yesterday and watched as Aimee filled the beater's steel drum with the fiber and water. In just fifteen minutes, the gampi was sufficiently beaten and I can't wait to make paper out of it. Without a doubt, the naginata is a game changer.

Marbling Madness

The best workshops are the ones that leave you feeling completely exhausted, both physically and mentally. I had the pleasure of taking just such a workshop this past weekend at the Morgan. I had long been interested in learning how to marble paper, so I was excited to take a two-day workshop with master marbler Steve Pittelkow. We had a big group-13 people, so we had to share vats, but it was nice to work with a partner. Working so closely with other people means getting to see all the fantastic results others are getting, which is one of the best parts of the workshop experience.

I really enjoyed learning how to marble. It's a very accessible medium, something you can do in your own kitchen without a lot of specialized equipment, and easy enough to do, although I suspect lots of practice is required to do it well. I left with a huge stack of beautiful marbled papers and, as a reward for assisting with the workshop and scrubbing out the vats at the end, Steve was nice enough to let me select two sheets of paper that he marbled himself. He also let me take some of the leftover marbling supplies and paper so I can continue marbling at home. Once I get some more practice in, I'm hoping to try marbling on fabric, as well. In the meantime, I have all these lovely marbled papers to play with.

One Year Down

My Spring semester is over, which is hard to believe (where did the time go?) but even more unbelievable is that fact that I have completed my first year of graduate school. It seems like only yesterday that I was wondering what I had gotten myself into and having anxiety attacks about whether or not I could hack it as an art student. I'm happy to report that this first year has gone better than expected and, even though it will likely take several more years to complete the degree, that's alright with me because I actually like what I'm doing. For once in my life, I'm not rushing through to get to the next thing, I'm enjoying the journey. Without a doubt, I know I'm right where I'm supposed to be. 

Now that I'm off school for the Summer I actually get to have one day off a week and I must admit, I don't really know what to do with myself. Yes, I have plenty of things I could work on, but not having that nagging feeling that I have some kind of looming deadline is a little odd, but I also feel lighter and more well-rested. I'm definitely going to throw myself into some new projects this Summer, though. Not having to produce work for class gives me a little more freedom to experiment and I'm excited to see what comes out of that. 

Anyway, I'm still keeping busy between work and my apprenticeship at the Morgan. I'm already halfway done with the apprenticeship, which is actually something that makes me incredibly sad. I love being there so much that I don't want to leave. I love every bit of my work there. Today Aimee and I went to Home Depot to get 12 bags of potting soil for the garden. Not only was it the hottest day we've had yet this season, but we loaded those heavy bags into two shopping carts and then into the car on our own. I was covered in dirt and sweat and it was tiring but I found it wholly satisfying. Working with my hands is engaging and I like that I get tangible results from the work I do- I put the time and effort in and I end up with beautiful, simple paper. I wish I could spend all my days at the Morgan making paper. It feels right, it feels like home. I am a papermaker. 

All Work and No Play

I'm not going to lie, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. While I enjoyed the week off of school for Spring Break, I'm dying for something more substantial-a real vacation or maybe just some days off where I don't actually have any obligations or errands to tend to. I spent most of my break playing catch up on things for class and working at the Morgan. I indulged in a little reading for pleasure, a rarity these days, as I'm usually stuck with my nose in a textbook, and I even got a few workouts in, hoping that more regular exercise will give me the extra energy that I so desperately need.

Even though I got a lot done, if I'm being completely honest, I procrastinated on a few things as well, namely, my research paper for the Dada and Surrealism class I'm taking. In fact, I'm putting off working on my paper in favor of writing this blog instead. I hate writing research papers. Not because of the writing part, that part is usually pretty easy for me, but I'm terrible at the length part. I'm better at saying what I want to say in as few words as possible than I am at reaching some pre-set page limit. Anyway, the deadline for this paper is rapidly approaching and there is only a little more than a month left of the semester, which means I'm starting to really feel the pressure. I'd like to just buckle down and get some serious work done on this paper and on my pieces that will be due when I have final critique, but in order to settle in for a good long chunk of productive work, one needs free time. I don't have free time, so I'm trying to squeeze everything in during the couple of hours I might have in the morning if I get up early enough or in the evening, after I'm already mentally a physically exhausted from work, school, the apprenticeship, life in general, etc. Have I bitten off more than I can chew? Probably. Am I going to make it through? Absolutely. Because there is no other choice. I'd cry about it, but that would just take too much time. In the meantime, I'm just going to have to deal with feeling overwhelmed and fighting the growing urge to blow everything off and quit these responsibilities in favor of napping on the couch with the dog, eating chips and watching television in my pajamas.

Working With My Hands

I'm officially on Spring break, and not a moment too soon. I don't know if it's this never ending Winter or the fact that I'm over-committed and overwhelmed, but I can never seem to get enough sleep. I'm planning on catching up over break, as well as attempting to finish some projects for class. Hopefully, productivity won't get overlooked in favor of nap time.

Even though it's officially Spring according to the calendar, the snow still falls and I feel like I'll be wearing my giant down parka forever. We've had a few nice days, though. On Tuesday Ivey and I took our lunch out on the stoop at the Morgan and ate with the wonderfully warm sun shining on our faces. It's important to enjoy each nice day as it comes.

After lunch, we started planting Tororo-Aoi seeds. Tororo can be used as a formation aid in Eastern papermaking. A formation aid is necessary in order to keep the fibers suspended evenly in the vat so that uniform sheets can be pulled without having to constantly stir. We've been using PMP, a synthetic formation aid, thus far, but the Tororo seeds should eventually turn into something we can use as a natural formation aid.

Ivey and I also worked on gluing, plugging, sanding, and varnishing the papermaking frames that Tom made. All the sawdust and elbow grease made me feel very industrious. It also reminded me of my grandpa, who was an amazing, self-taught woodworker and enthusiastic gardener. I feel like I'm following in his footsteps, and I'm learning how much I really love working with my hands. There's something wholly satisfying about putting your hands in the dirt or making something that serves a purpose. It makes one feel self-sufficient and able, something I think I lost along the way while working at a desk all the time, staring at a computer. I love every bit of working at the Morgan because I'm always learning something new and I'm using both my brains and body. I can feel myself growing stronger from lifting buckets full of water and loading the hydraulic presses with heavy wooden boards. My body feels functional in a way that it hasn't since I had back surgery two years ago. Sitting all day at a desk like I do for my regular job makes my lower back ache. Physical labor makes me feel competent, empowered, and healthy. I even have a smile on my face while I'm scrubbing out vats and cleaning the pots we cook fiber in. Honestly, I could do this kind of work all day, every day and never tire of it.

Student Annual

 I am pleased to say that a piece I made was accepted into this year's student annual exhibition. The opening was last Thursday evening, so I drove out to Kent just to see it. I have to say, I was both impressed and humbled by the pieces I saw in the show. The work of my fellow students is absolutely amazing and I'm honored to be studying amongst such talent. Best in show went to my studio mate, Liz Debellis, and I couldn't be happier for her. Her weavings are gorgeous and it was so nice to see her work in the gallery. I get so used to seeing everyone's work hanging in the studio for critique, that it's kind of shocking to see it in another environment. It gives new life to the piece. I wish I could say the same for my piece. Seeing it in the gallery made it look so small and insignificant. It made me realize that I have a lot of work to do in order to keep up with my peers. While I don't like feeling badly about my work, I do appreciate the renewed sense of drive and dedication that comes from seeing what others around me are making. Besides, I don't have time to mope. I'm too busy trying to improve my work and giving it my all. The show will be up until the 20th of this month, so if you find yourself in the Kent area, stop by the School of Art Gallery and see all the wonderful work on display.

Friday morning, I headed to school early because we had a vising artist coming for a lecture, as well as generously giving us individual critiques. The artist is Andrea Donnelly, from Richmond, Virginia. She's an incredibly gifted weaver and such a nice person. She had a lot of great things to say about my work, as well as giving me some really spot on insight about it. After her lecture, all the textile students had a potluck for Andrea back at the studio, where we stuffed our faces and asked Andrea all kinds of questions about what it's like to be a working, professional artist. It was a really valuable experience and a great way to end a busy, stressful school week.

Letterpress

I can't believe I've been at my Eastern Papermaking apprenticeship for a full month now. The time is flying by and each day brings something new. Aimee has been an incredibly helpful and patient mentor and my papermaking skills are getting better all the time. Even from one day to the next, I can see myself improving. And by this point, I've scraped so much fiber that I'm pretty much an expert.

This Thursday morning, Ivey (my apprenticeship counterpart) and I got to come in before our shifts started so that Mason (studio assistant extraordinaire) could give us an orientation on the letterpress studio. While there was obviously a lot to cover, and printmaking has a whole vocabulary of its own, Mason was a good teacher and offered to help us with our projects when we're ready to actually print something. I just hope I can come up with an idea that's worthy of all the time and effort it takes to make a good print. Certainly, I'd like to start making books again soon, and the letterpress would be a great tool to actually make a printed book instead of just the blank books I've made in the past. Last summer I took a woodcut class at the Morgan with artist Andrij Maday, so I'll have to put my woodcut skills to use in order to make something to use on the press. That's probably more of a summer project, though, as I'm already over-committed with my current classes and projects.

Anyway, I think the most fun part of the letterpress orientation was getting to go through all the drawers of old wooden letters, etched illustrations, and stamps. This could definitely be the start of a whole new obsession for me.

Time Off

I had some days off this past weekend, Friday and Saturday, which were my first days off in five weeks. My first instinct was to stay home in my pajamas and lie around on the couch the whole time, but I ventured out instead.

I headed out to 78th Street Studios to check out some local art on Friday night. There were lots of great pieces there and I bumped into some friends and got to catch up with them. After that I went to the movies to see Monuments Men. The movie was entertaining, if a little cheesy at some points. Nevertheless, I enjoyed myself and stuffed my face with massive amounts of popcorn.

Mansfield Art Center

I slept in on Saturday morning and then grabbed some lunch at the West Side Market before heading out to Mansfield to see Rebecca Cross' show at the Mansfield Art Center. The show, called 'Liaisons' is a two-woman show, with Rebecca's pieces hanging alongside of painter Annette Poitau's canvases. Rebecca's pieces were amazing, as usual, and they looked good with Annette's paintings. It was nice to see them in such a great, open space.

Sunday it was back to business as usual and I don't anticipate any more time off until the end of March, when I'll have a brief respite for Spring break. While I'm grateful for the time off, sometimes I think I'm better off without a break. The more time off I have, the more I want. I guess I'll just have to keep going...

A Rebecca Cross piece from the Mansfield show 'Liaisons'

The Apprentice

A little more than a week ago I started my internship at the Morgan. Actually, it's more of an apprenticeship, as the work I'm doing is more focused than what a regular intern usually does. I'll be working exclusively with eastern papermaking and I'll be doing research and reading about  the history of the techniques related to my hands-on learning. I'm so excited to have Aimee Lee as my mentor and everyone at the Morgan is so nice and helpful.

On my first day, Aimee showed me around and then I got right to work scraping the bark of the kozo trees

Dried kozo bundles from Novermber's harvest

that were harvested at the Morgan in November. A local blacksmith dropped by that very morning to deliver a set of scraping knives he made for the Morgan, based on a prototype of a Korean knife Aimee had given him. I was the first person to try out one of the new knives and I am happy to report they worked quite well.
I also got to spend a good amount of time beating fiber, which is exactly what it sounds like. Literally, you stand there with some wooden mallets and beat on a wet clump of fiber that has already been scraped and cooked. The idea is to get the individual fibers to loosen and separate, but you don't want to cut them because the longer the fibers, the stronger the resulting paper will be.

Bundle of kozo fiber with mallet

Scraping kozo with the Morgan's new knife

 After spending my first day beating and scraping, I got to actually practice making some paper on my second and third days. It's a skill that's easy to pick up but I can tell it's going to take a while to master. But even though I'm new at it, it's nice to see a finished sheet after all the work I've put in so far.

Some people might find the repetitive work tedious but I find it kind of meditative. There's something calming about working with your hands and creating things that just feels right.

Between work and school and the apprenticeship, I don't have any days off, but I've been able to cut my hours at work in half to make more time doing the things that I love. My bank account may not be happy about it but it's good for the soul. It's funny how, when you're working really hard doing something you love, it becomes energizing rather than making you tired and drained. I'm working harder than I ever have and I honestly don't think I've ever been this happy in my entire life. On the days I go to the Morgan I wake up cheerful and excited to start my day and at the end of the day, when I drive myself home, exhausted from working on my feet  with my hands in cold water for hours on end, all I can think about is how completely lucky I am to be doing this. I feel fulfilled. There were times in my life where I never thought I would move forward, where I was either lost or stuck, or both, and I didn't have any hope for the future. But then I see that I've managed to get myself to a place where I can be content and take pleasure in the work that I'm doing. It just makes my heart sing. I feel so fortunate and grateful to be given the opportunity to work at the Morgan and to be Aimee's apprentice.

Back to School

My favorite nap time buddy

I had so many plans for winter break. I was going to get a head start on projects for Spring semester, organize my studio, create a website for myself, exercise daily, and even finish sewing those damn kitchen curtains that I started a year ago and that my husband never stops giving me a hard time about. But I did none of those things. Instead, I rested. Blame it in the fact that I was still working six days a week, blame it on the art-making marathon that was finals week, blame it on the holidays, whatever. I napped with reckless abandon, hibernated under multiple down-filled comforters, read good books, and I don't feel at all guilty about it. If there's anything I've learned about life so far, it's that if you don't take time to rest and reflect, the opportunity will pass you by, leaving you perpetually tired and burnt out.

Now that I've taken the time to relax and recharge, I'm ready to get back to it. Spring semester starts tomorrow. I'm taking an art history course on Dada and Surrealism and an independent study studio course. And, of course, my internship will start on February 1st. It will be interesting to see how my work there will inform the art that I make. I'll post my projects here throughout the semester. I promise not to slack off with the blogging like I did last time. Seriously.

Eastern Papermaking Internship

I'm pleased to say that I have been chosen for an Eastern papermaking internship at the Morgan Conservatory. I've been involved with the Morgan for years, taking workshops, going to shows, and donating work for their annual open house, but to actually get to intern there is a dream come true for me. I was so excited that I almost started jumping up and down when I got the news. Not only do I get to learn from the best, I also get to give back by working as hard as I can for them.

Starting in February and running through July, I'll be working with Aimee Lee, Fulbright scholar and hanji (Korean handmade paper) expert, in the Morgan's Eastern papermaking studio. Basically, I will be learning how to make paper from scratch, starting with scraping bark, which sounds pretty exciting to me. I don't have much papermaking experience to date but I can't wait to dive in and really immerse myself in every aspect of it.  

There are some challenges involved, though. For one, I have to cut my hours at work in half, which also means cutting my paycheck in half, and the internship is unpaid. I'm currently in the process of writing a grant proposal to secure some funding through school, but it's going to be a struggle no matter what. Even if I don't get the grant, though, I'll make it work (even if I have to eat Ramen noodles for the next six months) and I guess this is a great chance to finally learn how to do the grant writing thing. I know all the hard work will be worth it. This is an amazing opportunity and it's so completely in line with all of the art I've been making. This is exactly where I need to be right now. I couldn't think of a better way to start out the new year and I know there are so many good things ahead.